Funny Happy Thanksgiving Messages for Texts, Cards and the Family Group Chat

Every November, the family group chat wakes up from its 11-month coma to send a blurry photo of a turkey and the words “Happy Thanksgiving!!!” with three exclamation points. You can do better. Here are funny happy Thanksgiving messages you can copy, paste and send without having to think, which is exactly the energy this holiday deserves.

Funny Happy Thanksgiving Messages for Friends

• Happy Thanksgiving to the friend who knows exactly how much pie I can eat and never judges me out loud.
• I’m thankful for you. Mostly because you laugh at my jokes and own a big TV.
• Happy Thanksgiving! May your turkey be moist and your relatives be brief.
• Grateful for friends who feel like family, but without the questions about my retirement plan.
• Here’s to stretchy pants, strong coffee and friends who don’t count how many rolls I take.
• Happy Thanksgiving! Let’s both pretend we’re going to the gym on Friday.
• You’re the cranberry sauce to my turkey. Weird, slightly jiggly, but I’d miss you if you weren’t there.

Funny Thanksgiving Messages for Family

For the people who raised you, tolerate you or share your DNA and your terrible sense of humor.

• Happy Thanksgiving to my family. Thank you for teaching me that every problem can be solved with carbs.
• I’m thankful we’re related. Otherwise I’d have to pay for this food.
• Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Your stuffing is the only reason I answer the phone.
• To my siblings: happy Thanksgiving. I’m still Mom’s favorite. Pass it on.
• Dad, I’m thankful for your advice, your jokes and your willingness to carve the turkey so the rest of us don’t lose fingers.
• Family: the people who’ll eat your cooking and critique it in the same breath. Love you all. See you at 3.
• Happy Thanksgiving! I’ll be bringing my appetite and absolutely zero updates about my love life.

Funny Thanksgiving Messages for Coworkers

Safe enough for Slack, funny enough to get a reaction emoji.

• Happy Thanksgiving! Grateful for a team that makes Mondays almost tolerable.
• Wishing you a long weekend, a short to-do list and an out-of-office reply that actually works.
• I’m thankful for this team, our shared calendar and the fact that no meeting can reach me on Thursday.
• Happy Thanksgiving! May your inbox stay as empty as the pie dish by 9 p.m.
• Grateful for coworkers who reply-all only when absolutely necessary. Have a great holiday.

Short Funny Thanksgiving Captions for Instagram

• Gobble till you wobble.
• Thankful, grateful, pie-full.
• Stuffed like the turkey.
• Turkey coma loading…
• Here for the pie, not the politics.
• Calories don’t count on Thursdays. It’s science.
• Grateful, stuffed and slightly judgmental.
• Elastic waistband: activated.
• Leftovers are the real holiday.
• My plate, my rules.

Funny Thanksgiving Card Messages

For when you actually have to write something by hand, like it’s 1997.

• Wishing you a Thanksgiving full of food, family and only the good kind of drama.
• Happy Thanksgiving! Remember, a balanced diet is a slice of pie in each hand.
• May your gravy be lump-free and your conversations be politics-free.
• Thankful for you, today and every day, but especially today because you’re bringing dessert.
• Eat, drink and be thankful you’re not the turkey.

Funny Thanksgiving Messages for Your Partner

• I’m thankful for you, and for the fact that you let me have the last slice of pie. That’s love.
• Happy Thanksgiving to my favorite person to fall asleep next to on the couch at 5 p.m.
• You make my heart full. The stuffing makes my stomach full. You’re winning, but it’s close.
• Thanks for surviving my family again this year. You deserve a medal and a second plate.

How to Make Your Message Land

• Personalize one detail. Mention the pie they always bring or the uncle who always naps. Specific beats generic.
• Keep it short. Nobody reads paragraphs on a holiday. One or two lines is perfect.
• Send it early. A message on Thursday morning gets read. One at 9 p.m. gets lost under food photos.
• Know your audience. Grandma gets the wholesome one. Your best friend gets the pants joke.

Wear Your Message Instead

If you’d rather say it once and be done for the day, put it on a shirt. Our funny Thanksgiving T-shirts include Grateful, Stuffed and Slightly Judgmental, Thankful for Naps and Leftovers Are the Real Holiday. Free US shipping on every tee.

Need material for the dinner table too? Grab our Thanksgiving jokes.